It's the most wonderful time of the year...for some more than others

Crying is Unattractive For Most People...
...including my youngest brother, Adrian.
We wake up, all of us. Christmas morning and there's just something in the air that just delights everyone, a delirium, if you will,  and makes all the bad things fade. We scamper towards the tree. The pitter-patter of feet hitting the linoleum of our hallway. Wrapping paper is a-flying every which-way. One could sink into this kind of blissful rhapsody.
Our presents were nice; they tended to what we desired, as they should. But a certain, Mr. Adrian, finds manages to find something of which he finds unsatisfactory. He had received his presents, yet he still searches underneath the tree for more. He finds his name is no longer mingling around the likes of the other gifts and, quite suddenly, starts to shut down. Tears begin to stream from his face like rain in my gutter on a stormy April mid-morning. He is not pleased. My family begins to ask of the matter, to which he responded sullenly, " I didn't get EVERYTHING I wanted." My mother, now shocked from his response, asks, "but isn't it enough what you have?" He shifts in his seat, his eye like a dagger, his whole face frozen in utter despisal and says in a way that mimics Cousin Mel from Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," Enough is NEVER enough!" He slowly picks up his person, face still in the wrinkly wet form it was but a moment ago, and escapes to the sanctuary of his room,to the temple of his Cars bed, taking the horrid mournful cries of supposed torture with him, left to sulk in this newly found abasement he had encountered on this so-called "Merry" day.
                                                                    -Guess who's on the Naughty List..
                                                                                          A. 

Acceptance Letter: Yale: The Crest can't get any smaller

Yale University New Haven, Connecticut 06520   Office of Undergraduate Admissions            
           
                      
 Dearest A...,
Congratulations on your admittance at Yale University, Class of 2017! We hope that you are alright with our informal greeting, we realize that this letter does not possess a tasteful thickness nor a watermark. Even so, we would like to extend to you a welcoming hand to our fine institution.

Allow me, personally, the pleasure of addressing, that your complete resume was simply phenomenal; so much so that it moved me to tears. You don't see many young women your age putting aside their own personal desires to assist in the warding off of the war in Uganda. God bless you. I especially enjoyed reading about your recent escapades to Burma, commonly known today as Myanmar. The stories you included were some of which I  can see published in a book of short tales, a book of which grandparents would engage in reading to their grandchildren by the fireplace on Christmas Eve for centuries to come. It possessed both the qualities of child-like whimsy we read in Roald Dahl, and the true spirit and triumph of the American Dream we hear in Conway Twitty; tasteful and sophisticated, yet ruthless. You are ,in fact, the pinnacle of a runaway American Dream. Let me just say that ,on behalf of the institution, we are honored that a personal friend of the Dalai Lama, the protégé of the legendary Andy Warhol, the mentor of Barbara Walters and the next heir to the Romanoff throne would even consider our humble establishment among many other options. Thank you.

We hope you enjoy your time here at Yale, and that later on you don’t end up transferring to Columbia. You cannot begin to fathom the devastation since the Waldorf incident -a truly dark day in the history of Yale- [ also the idea that Ms. Watson chose to go to Brown, is completely beyond me]. We encourage you to make the right choice and the choice that would be socially acceptable among your elite inner circle. Also, while you’re here, I strongly encourage you go out for our rowing team.

We look forward to hopefully seeing you on campus. We have a feeling that while you’re here, you will be the one to teach us something. Welcome to Yale!

Babe of the Week

Drastic Times Call for Drastic Measures: A Tribute to Jessicahh.

I, personally, don't find Tim Tebow attractive, whatsoever. After being constantly badgered by "Jessicahh," I simply could deal with it no longer. I had no choice but to succumb to her whim. This is the reason why the Babe of the Week isn't someone undeniably gorgeous, eloquent, and charismatic but rather the caveman Jesus-freak, Tim Tebow. Maybe, in a certain light, he could be considered somewhat attractive. Maybe if you have a fetish with neanderthals.Maybe if you're into caveman-lookin' mofos. Maybe if you adore the way his neck and head carry on the same diameter. Maybe if you don't mind how annoying it is having to wait for him to finish praying after every damn point is scored [this is no offense to others who follow the word of the lord. I mean no disrespect; he's a good guy. Although I'd find it more suitable as to pray before or after a game, that'd be nice, but apparently he finds it joyous as to waste people's time -"ain't nobody got time fo' dat"] I guess he could be cute to some people. If  Tom Hardy had an affair with an anteater, you would get Tim Tebow. He's not really my type. I'm sure he's very nice, though. Kudos, Tim, you got lucky.
                       -He's a solid 2/3 of a Babe.
                         The Council of Babes

The Overwhelming Sense of Ecstasy and Joy That Comes With the Holidays: The Reservoir of My Tears.

The Following are Recent Pre-Christmas Gifts Given to Me By My Ever-Adoring Peers. Merci Beaucoup.

A special thanks to all my dear friends. You are all everlasting jovial mementos; stains, that which cloud the occipital region of my cranium, never to be removed from my remembrance.They were worth every tear I shed. Also, kudos on the Leo movies, and great timing, too [Leo.D being the Babe of the Week last week.]

Babe of the Week

God forbid he obtains anymore allure.

For those of you who have lost hope in   the physical appearance of Leo being somewhat admirable, shame on you! If I could, I would cast plagues upon all of your Leo-forsaking houses. Shame on you for you are no better than a modern-day Victor Frankenstein. I, however, have not forsaken him. I have not given up hope, and do you know why? Simply because he is the epitome of a 21st century Eros. He is and will always be a Double Babe, regardless of what he looks like. The picture here is from his latest movie The Great Gatsby -which was supposed to be released in December of this year but will now be released in the summer of 2013. He has, once again, collaborated with the amazing Baz Luhrman, the writer and director of the movie and of 2 of my favorite movies; Romeo+Juliet [which starred Leo as Romeo Montague] and Moulin Rouge. In this movie we get a sense of the Leo that once was:baby-smooth,evenly-tanned and stubble/facial hair-free skin, as soft as my plush teal Northface, golden blonde locks of Pantene-inspired ecstasy and bright blue eyes that shimmer like limpid pools of serene babbling brooks that a mediocre Poseidon would scorn in envy. Even so, the physical aspect of Leo should remain just a perk in the movies he takes part in. He is a true artist in his work; passionate and believable, both of which are traits forgotten by many of today's sad excuses for actors/actresses. Who can forget his role as Frank Wheeler in Revolutionary Road, or his incredible performance as Romeo Montague in 1996's modern-day version of Romeo+Juliet, or extremely moving portrayal of a mentally-ill Arnie Grape in What's Eating Gilbert Grape which gave him a well-deserved nomination for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor but, unfortunately, wasn't enough to earn him the win. He is the most underrated actor of his time, our time, all time. Only a mere 3 nominations for Academy Awards, but no gold. He lives in Oscar-Squalor. What will it take for Leo to get some damn recognition?! What about Leo?! I'm sure one day he'll have his time in the well-deserved spotlight, yes, one day. Until then, kudos for now, Leo.
                         -I'll never let go, Leo.
                                 The Council of Babes.

Babe of the Week

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Bale!

 It's pretty obvi that Christian Bale was bound to be Babe of the Week at some point [his name is the blog, duh]. Who can deny his place here? No one, absolutely no one. Although there have been stories; he's short-tempered, rude, overrated...violent, etc. etc. regardless of the possibility of these allegations being true, I simply do not give a damn. This man has the right to act as he pleases, he has earned it through his amazing work. From such diverse roles in his early career such as: Jamie Graham in Empire of the Sun, Demetrius in  A Midsummer Night's Dream, Arthur Stuart in Velvet Goldmine, and the infamous Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, to the more recognizable roles such as: Alfred Borden in The Prestige, Dicky Eklund in The Fighter [a role where he earned himself an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor] and, of course, Bruce Wayne in the latest Batman movies. He is ridiculously close to a Double Babe [refer to The Babe Graph], all because of his remarkable talent as an actor... and, of course, he's absolutely gorgeous. The man has the bone structure of an angular John Stamos, the thick lustrous hair of Michael Bolton, the smooth evenly-tanned skin of a Brazilian Tina Fey, the tastefully hairy arms of a 45 year-old Italian woman, and, let's not forget, the ability to grow glossy facial hair that would put Sir Dumbledore to shame. Kudos, Bale.
               -I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world.

                                           The Council of Babes.

The Babe Scale

T'is the Season to Be Jolly...if You're a Capitalist

The Marlon Brando of Our Generation.

Be not misconstrued be his humble presence alongside the notorious John F. Kennedy; he is but a mere nobleman. You may recognize him, if not by his real name then by his artist name, Pintar Byzantii. He did, in fact, design Martha's Stewart's wine cellar.  Maybe you've seen him lurking around charity functions, or perhaps the Guggenheim for Donald Trump's Birthday Gala? Still not ringing a bell? Maybe you've met his mother, you can often find her shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. Maybe you remember him from your college days; he was the guy who transferred from Yale to Columbia; oh, the deception, the betrayal. He's well acquainted with the royals, both Great Britain and Genovia. Maybe you've recognized his face from televised showings of the latest scandals; Lindsay Lohan's crazy soiree, or perhaps partying with Prince Harry. He rowed crew  at Yale, you know, until he transferred. I'm sure you heard, he's part of Marie Antoinette's bloodline, he brags about it constantly. He got a Maserati for his 16th birthday and sent it back because his name wasn't monogrammed on the leather seating. I'm sure you've met him, he's on that gossip site constantly [ oh what's the name? I think it was Gossip Girl...]. He only eats medium well-done steak; do not test him on this, he will send it back. He's next in line for the Romanoff throne. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about now.
                                          -He's not a very generous tipper, either
                                                                   A.

Babe of the Week

I'm drowning in the Levitt...and I don't want to be saved!

Are there enough words in the world to describe the babe that is Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Articulate, funny, and just simply adorbs; the list of pros for this runaway American dream goes on...and on. This hunk-a-burnin'-love has made ladies swoon in movie theaters and at their television sets from his humble beginnings in 3rd Rock from the Sun and Angels in the Outfield, to heart-warming films such as 500 Days of Summer and 50/50, and the recent, buzz-worthy thrillers like Inception and Loopers. One cannot deny, JGL makes you wanna save the town of Gotham from certain havoc for an extended amount of time and give up your nighttime vigilante alias, in hopes that maybe he'll show up to your door and beg you to come back because not only does Gotham need you, he, too, needs you. He makes you wanna risk your newly found career as a therapist for cancer patients for a chance at possibly starting a relationship with one of your ridiculously adorable, yet depressed and partially dying, client, a spinal cancer-stricken JGL. He makes you think, like anything's possible, like life is worth it. Every time you think of them you think of a song.."She's like the wind.." In the simplest terms, and the most convenient definitions, he has reached a astounding Full Babe and A Half [that's a big deal] and that has landed him a spot as Babe of the Week on this humble blog. Kudos, JGL.
                           -Together we can live with the sadness, boy I love you with all the madness in my soul.
                                     The Council of Babes

The Torment No One Should Endure

So I'm sitting here, in my Hispanic culture-inspired kitchen, blogging about the insufferable cries of the tortured 11 year-old soul that is my brother.
You see, he had received his test back from his teacher; it was a B+, nothing to stress about. His teacher -being the heartless and slovenly wench that she is- decides she needs the tests back and that her students must return them to her. My brother, now currently running rampant throughout the alleyways and crevices of the manor in search of that wretched test, is hysterical. The search for it now is pointless; yes, indeed, pointless like the pursuit towards the perfect government.There's no chance of it happening, it simply does not exist [like the limit].
I ask you, my audience, "Who would do such a thing?" Better yet, "Shouldn't the 'bitch' know for a fact that if you give a youngin back a [already graded, mind you] piece of past work, the chances are she won't ever get those back because the probability of them throwing them away or casting them aside exceeds that of actually keeping it substantially?" Does she expect us to sent out a search party for this piece of paper? Can a mere feuille de papier cause so much grief and torment in a simple household? Yes, apparently it can. It is a truly inconvenient truth that has reached not only its victim but those who live with him, as well.
He is not the same confident young man he was 24 hours ago. No, he's different. His steps are heavy with sorrow as he galumphs his way around the house. It is a never-ending sulking that masks his face, ridding it from all possible emotions. His body slumps over, like the shell of a hermit crab. He rejects his meals, for food cannot fill the empty void he feels in his heart nor can  it tear his mind away from the unreachable sheet of paper. All he can do now is accept his fate. What awaits for him tomorrow? He'll have to find out.
                                                -I should be helping him find it
                                                            Innocent Bystander.

Babe of the Week

Ryan Gosling? More like Ryan God-ling.

Congrats to the FIRST Babe of the Week ever, Sir Ryan Gosling, Duke of Gorg'! It seems lately all I've been talking about is Ryan Gosling; it's almost as if i have the Gosling plaque...and I welcome it! It is a sickness Tylenol can't even fix. The plague is contagious and women (and some men) seem to just not give a damn. Ryan Gosling is master of his domain and the domain of women (and some men) everywhere! His piercing blue eyes stop women/some men in their tracks. His head perceives the moderate circumference as that of Michaelangelo's David. His defined jawline has stolen my heart, and he can keep it -until next week- ! Aside from his obvious charm and boy-next-door allure, we must also think, "What else draws us to the Adonis they refer to as Ryan Gosling?" His career. He has established himself as a versatile actor, with roles from the obvious heartthrob of Noah in The Notebook to more sullen, yet still unbelievably charming, Dean [who was both able to steal our hearts then crush it later on]  in Blue Valentine -which is probably one of the best movies last year had to offer-. Overall, Gosling seems to have it all going for him. Kudos, Gos.
                                     -To die by his side is such a heavenly way to die.
                                              The Council of Babes.

The Loss of the One They Call, Mc-Lil' Kim..

She comes and goes like the wind through the valley of deciet, ever-longing betrayal.
She leaves her "work family," her league, if you will, with the ease of a small babe.Why
She chooses to leave us, we'll never know.
Her memory stains the occipital part of our minds like blood stains sheets of Egyptian Cotton.
She is nothing but a memory now, a mere remnant or recollection of what once was.
She comes and goes as she wishes, and looks upon whate'er she favors.
She is the lord of the manor, she can easily cast us aside if she so wishes, like peasants/plebians and
Her wish is our bidding.

                    -Poetry comes strong to the broken-hearted.
                       Where are you Mc-Lil' Kim?
                      

Am I the only one?

It t'was but the radius of his Spanish face. The centripetal force that caught my eye each time I looked at him. It's nothing but a memory now; a memory of a man... more so a boy; a man-boy caught up with his own insecurities in this world so pent up with beauty. In this world so focused on "imperfections" of one's body than the imperfections of their oppressive and egotistical government. A capitalist world.

Am I the only one...
who misses Enrique Iglesias's mole? Do people even recall the Enrique of the past? The man who wrote love ballads, instead of dance mixes alongside Pitbull. Who wrote about the very essence of chivalry, instead of his relations with various precocious women. The man who we would not expect to carry a venereal disease in the past, in the times of his mole, since he had once dedicated his life to love, yet now it seems to be the complete opposite. You can't seem to walk into a club/ bar without coming across Enrique, his undressed attire, horrid trucker hat, and a slew, or clan, of whorish venereal disease-carrying ladies of the night.  Have you all simply cast aside the very memory of his beauty mark as well as you would cast aside scandals in our politics. Sure, they happen frequently, but does that make them any less wrong? Eliot Spitzter was gross. God help Bill Clinton. Herman Cain needs help. So does Tiger Woods. Anyway, the mole. Ah yes, the mole. The very core of the apple that is Enrique Iglesias, or, at least, was. T'was but the root of all that was this astounding, latin stallion. Women, even I, swooned over this mole. His mole was my hero, baby...and it damned-well took my breath away, too. Why Enrique? Why? Why is it so unacceptable as to live with the body you were born with? Were you not satisfied by your everyday visage? What would lead you to even consider the idea of removing your mark of beauty, your gift from the gods? Would "Hero" have been big without the mole? Is it socially acceptable to wear white after Labor Day when, in fact, EVERYDAY excluding Labor Day, is technically, AFTER Labor Day. I guess there are just some questions that can never be answered.

                                            Mourning the loss of my hero
                                                 - A.

Matt Bomer: too babe for words...well maybe some words.

So I've recently started watching the show White Collar..
Let me just say, it's a lot like Catch Me If You Can ..like a lot except everybody looks ten times better, even the main character Neal Caffrey (played by the ever-delicious, yet sadly[to the female gender] gay, Matt Bomer), who is supposed to be playing the allegory of DiCaprio's character (Frank Abagnale Jr.). The show is 'aight, although you have to watch each episode twice in order to get what the heck their talking about, due to the fact that Matt Bomer's face is what inspired the Ken Dolls, Michaelangelo's David, every boy band known to girl (I'm talking New Kids On The Block, N'Sync, 98 Degrees, and the Backstreet Boys with a dash of Blink 182) and Greek/Roman gods all together. He truly is an Adonis. The show is missing something, though. Maybe a stronger plot line? Maybe more Bomer shirtless scenes? I don't know, I'm not a writer.
                                                  -Girl, Interrupted...by Matt Bomer's godlike features.

A sad response to capitalism.

Greetings,
     The news i have to bring is scarce, so I will make this short and sweet. I don't know if i will be the sort of person to lash out on the internet every time i don't agree with something. I don't think I have the seniority to do that, yet. At this very moment, I feel excruciatingly lazy as to type with correct spelling and somewhat correct grammar, but having come from the dangerous streets of the place they call "Literacy Workshop" and working my way to the top of the English pyramid has taught me something; Literacy Workshop is totally underrated (they made us read Frankenstein AND A Raisin in the Sun), James Van Der Beek is a total babe, and if I weren't writing with the skills i have acquired, not only would I be lying to myself, but I would also be succumbing to neanderthal lifestyle, and I am not about that life.

                                                 -Your friendly neighborhood, Batman.