T'is the Season to Be Jolly...if You're a Capitalist

The Marlon Brando of Our Generation.

Be not misconstrued be his humble presence alongside the notorious John F. Kennedy; he is but a mere nobleman. You may recognize him, if not by his real name then by his artist name, Pintar Byzantii. He did, in fact, design Martha's Stewart's wine cellar.  Maybe you've seen him lurking around charity functions, or perhaps the Guggenheim for Donald Trump's Birthday Gala? Still not ringing a bell? Maybe you've met his mother, you can often find her shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. Maybe you remember him from your college days; he was the guy who transferred from Yale to Columbia; oh, the deception, the betrayal. He's well acquainted with the royals, both Great Britain and Genovia. Maybe you've recognized his face from televised showings of the latest scandals; Lindsay Lohan's crazy soiree, or perhaps partying with Prince Harry. He rowed crew  at Yale, you know, until he transferred. I'm sure you heard, he's part of Marie Antoinette's bloodline, he brags about it constantly. He got a Maserati for his 16th birthday and sent it back because his name wasn't monogrammed on the leather seating. I'm sure you've met him, he's on that gossip site constantly [ oh what's the name? I think it was Gossip Girl...]. He only eats medium well-done steak; do not test him on this, he will send it back. He's next in line for the Romanoff throne. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about now.
                                          -He's not a very generous tipper, either
                                                                   A.