Babe of the Week

Today's Breakfast Consists of an English [Stud] Muffin.

Jude Law. A solid actor, with a solid resumé. Many of you may know him from the popular box office hit, Sherlock Holmes, where Law is casted alongside the ruggedly handsome Robert Downey Jr. as his witty sidekick, Watson. And if that's all you know this admirable-looking fellow for, then you, sir or madame, are an uncultured philistine. How dare you assume this man's most foreknown work be the part of a lowly sidekick? I weep for you and your generation. This man has worked among some of the greatest names cinema has to offer nowadays, like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Aviator, Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Rigby -a role which earned him a nomination for best supporting actor-, and  Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain. Indeed he is but a pinnacle of all things gorg'. From the way the sun hits and illuminates every nook and cranny of his face; glorious contours shed light upon by gargantuan ball of various gases and light. Something truly magical, something that would only be seen in moments of fantasy and child-like whimsy. Something worthy of being an 80's John Hughes movie. And for that, we thank you Mr. Law. Kudos Jude.
                             Whatever Souls Are Made of, His And Mine Are The Same.

                                           -The Council of Babes
                 

Babe of the Week

Modern Day Hercules.

Before we discuss the resevoir of utter handsomeness that is Jake Gyllenhaal, I would like to address the matter of my mourning. Yes, I am still mourning; the loss, or "break" of a great one is not something that could so easily be forgotten within a week. Rome was not built in a day. But all heartbreak aside, I have decided that Babe of the Week is crucial and I can no longer delay it. So without further a do, I give you, Jake Gyllenhaal.

Ughh! A truly worthy Babe of the Week, both in looks and work, work of which has earned him an honorable notice in cult films, with his notorious thriller, bizarre and goth, yet unbelievably 90's/ early 2000's, Donnie Darko, a movie where he acted alongside his famous older sister Maggie Gyllenhaal and the late and great, Patrick Swayze -bless his soul. You may more likely remember him from a little number he did with the also late and great Heath Ledger -totes babe-worthy, bless his soul, as well- a little number that goes by the name of Brokeback Mountain. Ah yes, the mountain of Brokeback, where homosexual cowboys could cheat on their wives and engage in romantic acts with one another, man-on-man acts that their Westboro Church-like society at this time would frown upon during their time period. T'was this very movie that got JG a nomination for Best Supporting Actor and lead to  JG's branching out into more serious roles. Now I'm not saying he's perfect, a lot of his work has had its ups and downs. UPS: Zodiac, Jarhead, Brothers. DOWNS: Bubble Boy, Prince of Persia, and probably more to come, as I said, "he's not perfect." Perfect he is not, but a babe he is. Kudos Monsieur Gyllenhaal.
                          Bless my soul, Herc' was on a roll!
                               The Council of Babes.

Now is literally the winter of our discontent: Devastation at its worst.

I would like to start off with a humble pardon..

To my loyal fans, I'm sorry there was no Babe of the Week this week. I had been in mourning for the past few days; I apologize if the task of writing about babes had slipped my mind. The reason of my mourning was all too good a reason.

You poor soul.

I was recently informed that Leonardo DiCaprio, our beloved Double Babe, has decided....*tears stream down from my face onto my keyboard as I write these very words*..to take a break from acting. Alas, I continue to sigh in disbelief. T'is a nightmare most unworthy of the weak of heart. He recently told German newspaper that he’s planning on taking “a long, long break” from acting. I have a feeling that he's taken the Academy's snubs in a more literal sense and decided to take on another task.“I would like to improve the world a bit,” he said. “I will fly around the world doing good for the environment.” Oh Leo, don't be so modest, we know you're hurting. The Adonis has told ABC News, "I'm a bit tired, I've done three movies this year, and I'm just exhausted." We're exhausted, too, Leo! Exhausted from having to deal with the Academy's bullshit! 3 nominations, and no gold. Where the hell is the gold? They just can't seem to get past the fact that you were a 90's heartthrob and have now become a successful, stud-like, actor/producer/activist.

                                   They are all jealous.

                                       A.

Babe of the Week

Goodness Gracious Great Balls O' Fire! (no pun intended.)

Dear lord, if there were enough words in the mutha fuckin' dictionary to describe the overall perfection of this man...

Mark Wahlberg. Two simple pronouns that stand for so much more. Oscar-worthy gold. Killer abs. A smile that makes you want to rethink your whole life. Producer of Entourage. All around good ol' fashion American guy from Boston. We all remember of when this young lad first came out into the spotlight, not originally known as Mark Wahlberg, but as Marky Mark, the bad to the bone white rapper. To be honest, he didn't inherit the same talent for music as, let's say, his brother, Donnie Wahlberg, did. But then again, Donnie didn't inherit the same acting talent as Mark, which more than makes up for it. He has a true rags-to-riches story; in this case, the rags being a sucky music career and the riches being an accomplished career as both an actor and producer, which more than makes up for it. Mark Wahlberg has worked with some pretty big names in this industry; those names being Leonardo Dicaprio, in both, The Basketball Diaries and The Departed ( a role which earned him a steady nomination for Best Supporting Actor), Julianne Moore and Burt Reynolds in Boogie Nights, where he was shown as a floppy-haired, adorable-faced, puppy-eyed, naive latte man in the backdoor closet of the 1970's porn industry. It was but a work truly worthy of the Academy's eyes. He also produced and acted in The Fighter, a movie based on a true story of Dicky Eklund, ex-boxer, current dope fiend, and his brother, Mickey Ward. This movie was one of which the gorgeous Christian Bale profited an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. 

He has proven himself to be quite worthy of the big screen and not just some other washed up heathen on pre- reality show encased MTV.

Also, as an extra, he has/ or had, the best body in the Milky Way Galaxy; a constellation of pure beauty, so immaculate that even the gods themselves would turn there heads away in utter envy at the site of the body and face that they cannot obtain themselves. The way the contours of his body compliment themselves bring forth the idea that, "beauty is also art." The contrast of shadows and such of his abdominal muscles resemble the majestic crevices of old America, the Grand Canyon, if you will.
                                            -Say "hi" to your mother for me.
                                                    A.

(Back From The Land Of Promise:Mexico. Here to Return to the Shallow Emptiness of Meaningless Consumer-Driven Lives) Babe of the Week

Double the Fun: Paying Reparations to My Loyal Fans
After strong consideration over the past week and a half, I've taken the liberty of appealing to my more understanding persona, and have come to the conclusion that I have selfishly kept my fan base waiting on the edge of a precipice for a solemn week and a half, without a word to anyone: I've disappeared without a trace or a simple blog post. Well no matter, friends! I have returned and, as such, will deliver!
I've taken the matter quite seriously and decided that this week should result in TWO Babes of the Week. Withhold your prejudice and behold the beauties that are this week's Babes of the Week.

Ewan McGregor

Most young women and men today haven't heard of Ewan McGregor; it just so happens that those people are the uncultured swine of our sad generation.He has worked alongside many great actors/actresses including Nicole Kidman [Moulin Rouge], Christian Bale [Velvet Goldmine], George Clooney [The Men Who Stare At Goats], and so on. Ewan McGregor is simply phenomenal and has proven himself to be, not only a good actor, but an amazing and swoon-worthy singer . If you've seen Moulin Rouge, you'd understand [E.McGregor and Nicole Kidman's duet of the song "Come What May" always sparks an unwanted tear and division streak of smeared makeup and skin on my face], if you haven't, then you've only proven my past remark [ uncultured swine yada yada yada.] Many people remember his as Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars Episodes II & III -movies, of which I don't take kindly to, my unresolved prejudice towards science fiction movies covers a certain bias in the movies I watch. I also think George Lucas is a bit overrated. Regardless of the fact that he is a part of the sci-fi movie franchise, the one of which I can't stand, he is truly an artist among actors, and a king among men. He's also ridiculously adorable and if he asked me out for an afternoon of herbal tea and a slam poetry reading, I would most likely say "yes." Kudos McGreg'.

                                 -it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside.

James Franco

It has come to my astonishment that I had not considered Sir Franco sooner, and for that, I apologize. Mr. Franco, though young and a bit eccentric, has made quite a name for himself in the film industry, with such roles as: Harry Osbourne in the Spiderman Trilogy, Saul in Pineapple Express, Scott in Milk, Aron Ralston in 127 Hours and Chris Campbell in the 21st century version of Cyrano de Bergerac, Whatever It Takes. He's just delicious in whate'er atmosphere he's portrayed in. There's also a sense of "home" that comes with James Franco. Whether it be the welcoming effect of his extensive laugh lines or the dream-like downward slant of his eyes, the very one that brings forth a sense of relaxation and a reassuring feeling that "everything will be alright." His entire visage reminds me of a simpler time, when actors were artists.
It's a bit too early in the morning to start a rant on today's pop culture so I shall leave on this note: James Franco is the modern day people person's version of Classic Hollywood. Kudos, Jimmy.
                             -love lift us up where we belong.
                                   The Council of Babes.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...for some more than others

Crying is Unattractive For Most People...
...including my youngest brother, Adrian.
We wake up, all of us. Christmas morning and there's just something in the air that just delights everyone, a delirium, if you will,  and makes all the bad things fade. We scamper towards the tree. The pitter-patter of feet hitting the linoleum of our hallway. Wrapping paper is a-flying every which-way. One could sink into this kind of blissful rhapsody.
Our presents were nice; they tended to what we desired, as they should. But a certain, Mr. Adrian, finds manages to find something of which he finds unsatisfactory. He had received his presents, yet he still searches underneath the tree for more. He finds his name is no longer mingling around the likes of the other gifts and, quite suddenly, starts to shut down. Tears begin to stream from his face like rain in my gutter on a stormy April mid-morning. He is not pleased. My family begins to ask of the matter, to which he responded sullenly, " I didn't get EVERYTHING I wanted." My mother, now shocked from his response, asks, "but isn't it enough what you have?" He shifts in his seat, his eye like a dagger, his whole face frozen in utter despisal and says in a way that mimics Cousin Mel from Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," Enough is NEVER enough!" He slowly picks up his person, face still in the wrinkly wet form it was but a moment ago, and escapes to the sanctuary of his room,to the temple of his Cars bed, taking the horrid mournful cries of supposed torture with him, left to sulk in this newly found abasement he had encountered on this so-called "Merry" day.
                                                                    -Guess who's on the Naughty List..
                                                                                          A. 

Acceptance Letter: Yale: The Crest can't get any smaller

Yale University New Haven, Connecticut 06520   Office of Undergraduate Admissions            
           
                      
 Dearest A...,
Congratulations on your admittance at Yale University, Class of 2017! We hope that you are alright with our informal greeting, we realize that this letter does not possess a tasteful thickness nor a watermark. Even so, we would like to extend to you a welcoming hand to our fine institution.

Allow me, personally, the pleasure of addressing, that your complete resume was simply phenomenal; so much so that it moved me to tears. You don't see many young women your age putting aside their own personal desires to assist in the warding off of the war in Uganda. God bless you. I especially enjoyed reading about your recent escapades to Burma, commonly known today as Myanmar. The stories you included were some of which I  can see published in a book of short tales, a book of which grandparents would engage in reading to their grandchildren by the fireplace on Christmas Eve for centuries to come. It possessed both the qualities of child-like whimsy we read in Roald Dahl, and the true spirit and triumph of the American Dream we hear in Conway Twitty; tasteful and sophisticated, yet ruthless. You are ,in fact, the pinnacle of a runaway American Dream. Let me just say that ,on behalf of the institution, we are honored that a personal friend of the Dalai Lama, the protégé of the legendary Andy Warhol, the mentor of Barbara Walters and the next heir to the Romanoff throne would even consider our humble establishment among many other options. Thank you.

We hope you enjoy your time here at Yale, and that later on you don’t end up transferring to Columbia. You cannot begin to fathom the devastation since the Waldorf incident -a truly dark day in the history of Yale- [ also the idea that Ms. Watson chose to go to Brown, is completely beyond me]. We encourage you to make the right choice and the choice that would be socially acceptable among your elite inner circle. Also, while you’re here, I strongly encourage you go out for our rowing team.

We look forward to hopefully seeing you on campus. We have a feeling that while you’re here, you will be the one to teach us something. Welcome to Yale!